A Smile in the Middle of the Pain

I am amazed at the people returning to their homes in the South and in the Dahieh. People seem to carry a smile. A smile while they look at damaged houses, at destroyed roads, at the left over churches and mosques.

I envy that smile. I envy a person able to smile for the small gift of returning home. I respect their power to see the white linning behind the black clouds.

For my part, there is no return. There is no more smile when I think of Beirut. For me the return would be a duty not a passion anymore. For me their is no light behind the dark. For me, a part of me, the Lebanon in me, died with the voice of the survivor of Qana. "I have no one, my mother, my father, my sisters, all our family... Only my cousin remains... My cousin, became my father, and mother, and brother, and all that is left for me..."

The resonance of her voice will never part me for as long as I live. And that resonance will always remind me not to return, not to turn back...

British View from Jerusalem

This is a writer I have been reading lately, sho I believe has a lot to say from a view point of a Westerner living in Jerusalem:

From High Wycombe to Nazareth: How I Found Myself with the Islamic Fascists

By JONATHAN COOK
August 11, 2006
Counterpunch

It occurred to me as I watched the story unfolding on my TV of a suspected plot by a group of at least 20 British Muslims to blow up planes between the UK and America that the course of my life and that of the alleged "terrorists" may have run in parallel in more ways than one.

Like a number of them, I am originally from High Wycombe, one of the non-descript commuter towns that ring London. As aerial shots wheeled above the tiled roof of a semi-detached house there, I briefly thought I was looking at my mother's home.

But doubtless my and their lives have diverged in numerous ways. According to news reports, the suspects are probably Pakistani, a large "immigrant" community that has settled in many corners of Britain, including High Wycombe and Birmingham, a grey metropolis in the country's centre where at least some of the arrested men are believed to have been born.

Britain's complacent satisfaction with its multi-culturalism and tolerance ignores the facts that Pakistanis and other ethnic minorities mostly live in their own segregated spaces on the margins of British life. "Native" Britons like me -- the white ones -- generally assume that is out of choice: "They stick to their own kind". Many of us rarely come into contact with a Pakistani unless he is serving us what we call "Indian food" or selling us a packet of cigarettes in a corner shop.

So, even though we may have been neighbours of a sort in High Wycombe, my life and theirs probably had few points of contact.

But paradoxically, that changed, I think, five years ago when I left Britain. I moved to Nazareth in Israel, an Arab -- Muslim and Christian -- community on the very margins of the self-declared Jewish state. In the ghetto of Nazareth, I rarely meet Israeli Jews unless I venture out for work or I find myself sitting next to them in a local restaurant as they order hummus from an Arab waiter, just as I once asked for a madras curry in High Wycombe. When Israeli Jews briefly visit the ghetto, I suddenly realise how much, by living here, I have become an Arab by default.

Living on the margins of any society is an alienating experience that few who are rooted in the heartland of the consensus can ever hope to understand. Such alienation can easily deepen into something less passive, far more destructive, when you find yourself not only marginalised but your loyalty, rationality, even your sanity, called into question.

As we approach the fifth official anniversary of the "war on terror", the foiled UK "terror plot" has neatly provided George W Bush, the "leader of the free world", with a chance to remind us of our fight against the "Islamic fascists". But what if the war on terror is not really about separating the good guys from the bad guys, but about deciding what a good guy can be allowed to say and think?

What if the "Islamic fascism" President Bush warns us of is not just the terrorism associated with Osama bin Laden and his elusive al-Qaeda network but a set of views that many Arabs, Muslims and Pakistanis -- even the odd humanist -- consider normal, even enlightened? What if the war on "Islamic fascism" is less about fighting terrorism and more about silencing those who dissent from the West's endless wars against the Middle East?

At some point, I suspect, I joined the Islamic fascists without my even noticing. Were my name different, my skin colour different, my religion different, I might feel a lot more threatened by that realisation.

How would Homeland Security judge me if I stepped off a plane in the US tomorrow and told officials not only that I am appalled by the humanitarian crises in Lebanon and Gaza but also that I do not believe the war on terror should be directed against either the Lebanese or the Palestinians? How would they respond if, further, I described as nonsense the idea that Hizbullah or the political leaders of Hamas are "terrorists"?

I have my reasons, good ones I think, but would anyone take them seriously? What would the officials make of my argument that, before Israel's war on Lebanon, no one could point to a single terrorist incident Hizbullah had been responsible for in at least a decade? Would the authorities appreciate my comment that a terrorist organisation that doesn't do terrorism is a chimera, a figment of the President's imagination?

Equally, what would they make of my belief that Hizbullah does not want to wipe Israel off the map? Would they find me convincing if I told them that Israel, not Hizbulalh, is the aggressor in the conflict: that following Israel's supposed withdrawal from south Lebanon in 2000, Lebanon experienced barely a day of peace from the terrifying sonic booms of Israeli war planes violating the country's airspace?

Would they understand as I explained that Hizbullah had acted with restraint for those six years, stockpiling its weapons for the day it knew was coming, when Israel would no longer be satisfied with overflights and its appetite for conquest and subjugation would return? Would the officials doubt their own assumptions as I told them that during this war Hizbullah's rockets have been a response to Israeli provocations, that they are fired in return for Israel's devastating and indiscriminate bombardment of Lebanon?

And what would they say if I claimed that this war is not really about Lebanon, or even Hizbullah, but part of a wider US and Israeli campaign to isolate and pre-emptively attack Iran?

Thank God, my skin is fair, my name is unmistakenly English, and I know how to spell the word "atheist". Chances are when Homeland Security comes looking for suspects, no one will search for me or be interested -- not yet, at least -- in my views on Hassan Nasrallah or the democratic election of a Hamas government for the Palestinians.

My friends in Nazareth, and those Pakistani neighbours I never knew in High Wycombe, are less fortunate. They must keep their views hidden and swallow their anger as they see (because their media, unlike ours, show the reality) what US-made weapons fired by American and Israeli soldiers can do to the fragile human body, how quickly skin burns in an explosion, how easily a child's skull is crushed under rubble, how fast the body drains of blood from a severed limb.

Sitting in London or New York, the news that Gaza lost 151 souls, most of them civilians, last month to Israeli bombs and bullets passes us by. It is after all just a number, even if a high one. At best, a number like that from a place we don't know, suffered by a people whose names we can't pronounce, makes us pause, even sigh with regret. But it cannot move us to anger.

And anyway, our news bulletins are too busy to concentrate on more than one atrocity at a time. This month it is Lebanon. Next month it will probably be Iran. Then maybe it will be back to Baghdad or the Palestinians. The horror stories sound so much less significant, the need for action so less pressing, when each is unrelated to the next. Were we to watch the Arab channels, where all the blood and suffering blends into a single terrible Middle Eastern epic, we might start to make connections, and maybe suspect that none of this happens by accident.

But my Arab friends and High Wycombe's Pakistanis have longer memories. Their attention span lasts longer than a single atrocity. They understand that those numbers -- 151 killed in Gaza, and in a single incident 33 blown up in a market in Najaf, Iraq, and at least 28 crushed by rubble from an Israeli attack on Qana in Lebanon -- are people, flesh and blood just like them. They can make out, in all the pain and death currently being inflicted on Arabs and Muslims, the echoes of events stretching back years and decades. They see patterns, they make connections, and maybe discern a plan.

Unlike us, they do not sigh, they burn with fury.

This is something President Bush and his obedient serf in Britain, Tony Blair, need to learn. But of course, they do not want to understand because they, and their predecessors, are responsible for creating those patterns and for writing that epic tale in blood. Bush and Blair and their advisers know that the plan is far more important than the rage, the "red" alert levels at airports, or even planes crashing into buildings and plunging out of the sky.

And to protect that plan -- to preserve the Middle East as a giant oil pump, cheaply feeding our industries and our privileged lifestyles -- those who care about the suffering, the deaths and the wars must be silenced. Their voices must not be heard, their loyalty must be questioned, their reason must be put in doubt. They must be dismissed as "Islamic fascists".

One does not need to be a psychologist to understand that those with no legitimate way to vent their rage, even to have it recognised as valid, become consumed by it instead. They seek explanations and purifying ideologies. They need heroes and strategies. And in the end they crave revenge. If their voice is not heard, they will speak without words.

So I find myself standing with Bush's "Islamic fascists" in the hope that -- just possibly -- my solidarity and that of others may dissipate the rage, may give it meaning and offer it another, better route to victory.

Jonathan Cook is a writer and journalist based in Nazareth, Israel. He is the author of the forthcoming "Blood and Religion: The Unmasking of the Jewish and Democratic State" published by Pluto Press, and available in the United States from the University of Michigan Press. His website is http://www.jkcook.net/

Could It Be The End???

This morning I feel hope.

The UN resolution seems set on stopping this war. I am happy, I do not care anymore who wins or looses, I only care to see the hope for an end of war.

Meanwhile, I can only wonder, were all these death and miseries, worth it at the end?

History will tell.

A Bird in My House :)

This morning, a grey bird managed its way into my house. It's been roaming the ceilings, and sitting on the door tops.

Poor thing, how can I manage to let it out, it seems to enjoy the coolness of the air conditinoing here :)

Well, maybe it just needs to listen to some news about its birdy friends in Beirut...

Meanwhile, it is nice to have the little guest at home

Best Misrable War Joke so Far

Today I ran into the saddest, yet funniest expression of the Israeli/Lebanese war

Check it out Izzy and Leb on http://israelpalestineblogs.com/category/blogging-the-middle-east/

and while you are at it check the picture of Olmert, really cute :)

Child Lost

Al Jazzeera just did a small announcment that broke my heart.

I was always very much aware of the possibilty of the loss of children in the displacement of the 1,000,000 Lebanese in the past 27 days.

Yet, to actually see a child in this situation was far worse than just being aware of the possibilites.

Mustapha Khaled Hassan, a 13 years old, stood next to AlJazeera ancor as the latter read out his name, his village of origin and his age.

The boy said nothing, he had lost his power to speak after the raid on his house, just lifted his head at the end to show beautiful blue sad eyes.

How many more children have been lost? And how many more will be lost before this war ends?

Websites/Blogs to Check

I have, like everyone else I know, been sitting for hours everyday in front of my PC. Reading, wriitng, or just gazing. Pathetic, really...
However, one good thing came out of this... i ofund many sites for people, non-Arabs, who seem to be there and fighting for their voice to be heard. A voice of fairness towards all of this crazed war we are living.

These site have been my little joys in the past days.

http://www.richardsilverstein.com/tikun_olam/
http://www.jkcook.net/index.html
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/
http://israelpalestineblogs.com/

Americans Want to Hear ...

Yesterday, in a mothers day out, I met some ladies from different nationalities... a couple of Australians, and an American caught my attention...

The minute they found out I was Lebanese - which is not very hard to guess anymore, as I am constantly obssesed with the news, and I follow television screens around the place like some lunatic - they came over and asked as to why the Arabic speaking news TV networks do not subtitle their issues. I was shoccked, I had never even thought that the non-politically oriented Americans were interested in hearing the other point of view...

I actually went as far as saing: You have CNN, Fox News, BBC and Euro News (the latter is in my opinion the fairest of all stations talking about the Lebanese/Israeli war in English)... but the reply was, we want to understand more, we are sure the above-mentioned stations are only representing one side of the story (the Israeli/American one of couse).

This meeting, insignificant as it might sound, restored my faith in the human brotherhood. A faith I almost totally lost after the massacre of Qana.

Goerge Gallaway... My new Hero

I know this is a new blog that no one reads, but just in case it ever gets noticed, I would love for the reader to note the following link:

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article14391.htm

This is the message that I would love the world to hear... history did not start 4 weeks ago, history is an on going process, and 4 weeks ago... well... are just the outcomes of a long boiling volcano waiting to errupt

UN Resolution Draft...

I wonder would this draft ever see the light?
And why would I sincersly want it to see the light?

Maybe, i just want the death toll to end. maybe I wish for the those small left intact parts of Lebanon to remain. Maybe, I am just tired. And, maybe, just maybe I am scared...
I grew up in a house that constantly talked about 1948 Palestine. That following the first draft, which Palestians refused, a second... much worst draft was formulated. A draft we still, all over the Arab world pay for with blood, effort and money. A draft which offered Palestine to a new breed of people, a non-Arab breed to live and rule over Palestine.

I know it is just foolish to compare, but i can not help fear. Yeaterday, listening to Jea Jea, it all came back to me. He said, we should accept this resolution, a following one can be worse.

But, deep inside my heart, I know I can never find the logic of the draft.

How can I accept that Lebanon faces an "embargo" on weapon entry except to the Army? I know this should be the case, but the choice of words... AN EMBARO... this is a word used in the face of antagonizing forces, when in all this sherade has Lebanon become an become an aggressor?

How can I accept to - and I am picking here form Associated Press -

"An Israeli spokesman told the BBC his government could be prepared to pull all its forces out of Lebanon once the resolution was passed and when Israel had cleared what he called "the last remaining Hezbollah strongholds". He said Israel would then monitor the south of Lebanon from behind its own border and reserve the right to use air strikes and occasional ground incursions".

This is the comment on the draft... where does that leave Lebanon? A country naked, with no weapons, whose small territory - both arial and ground - constantly invaded.

Well... maybe it is just ... the rule of the strong ...

Death Toll...

I am so sad today. Yesteday so many people died. Lebanese, Israelis, and Palestinains too.
When will this end???

TERRORISM ... A NEW UPDATED DEFINIITON

I am copying here a comment that I wrote on another freindly bloggers site earlier today:

Please do not fall for the trap Lebanese.

We have been terrorized once and again by Israel. They have been roaming our skies with “jidar sout” over and over again, they have been jailing our fishermen and murdering our sheppards. They have tresspassed our country in 5 complete wars before this one.

To say they are replying to Hizbollah is a lie, and every lebanese realises that. This is a pre-planned war that was just waiting for an excuse to happen. If it was not the 2 soldiers, it would have been a bird flying in the air over the blue tape!!!!!!!

Let us stand together, let us not give them a chance to mock us in our faces.

Terrorism????

What is terrorism if it is not a war whose dead people are mostly children… Yes children not warriors…In a time of war, a decent war, warriors engage in combat… Where is the combat??? Here it is just blinded planes roaming the skies shooting at random and yes murdering chidren.

I know it is very hard for us to bear. I know the scenes are too grotesque and the aspirations are too low… But I also know we are a country of peaceful people being bombarded by tyrants…We are in a terrorist war… Not a war against terrorism…

WAR= TERRORISM WITH A BIGGER BUDGET AND BIGGER WEAPONS

FAJAITEK MO?

I slept yesterday at 4:00 am and woke up, as usual, at 7:00. This insomnia has been going on for the past 3 weeks. Facing the tv and the pc at the same time i sit in my chair and wonder how long would it take before i can close my eye lids and just forget.

My husband, also now a tv addict, but does no pc addiction, drags me to bed ever night saying nothing else is going to happen tonight. But somehow, every morning there is a new bombing, a new massacare, or even a new blog to answer to !!!!

We used to joke about us being surprised using a term "fajaitak mo?" meaning i surprised you right? in the Syrian dialect. Well this joke is not a joke anymore, i am being surprised every morning, but not in the funny "fajaitek mo?" way, rather in a tearful "stop these atrocities way"

HAIL TO FAIR MEDIA:

This is the fisrt time I try to write, so it is probably going to be a jerky start knowing how jerky my life, same as the life of every lebanese person, has been lately.

I have been glued to TV screen for as long as i can think. I have been lucky, or maybe unlucky to have left lebanon a few days after the start of this shameful war under the name of democracy and defence.

I have been going through so many blogs, reading comments trying to feel the pain on both sides. I have been quite uplifted with the positive cmmunications done by both sides at some points. I have read people start at far extremes, then get drawn closer as the days and the blogs increase. Yet, i was also shocked and appauld at times at the ease with which writers call for further violence.

I was triggered to write today after reading one such commnetary.

I was reading an article from Patrick Buchanan and was totally disturbed by the reply of some; requesting more killing and normalizing violence and the increase of it as simpy a state of war... what if there are civillians? what if the death toll is high? what if a county is abolished?

I prepared my answer, but as I was about to post it here, I realized people advocating violence will always exist, people nourishing their appetite on the blood of children will also always exist. Thus, I decided not to answer for now, just to say, thanks God people like Buchanan, capable of looking beyond the media propaganda, still exist.

To read Buchanan please link to: http://www.chroniclesmagazine.org/cgi-bin/buchanan.cgi/Democracy/Democracy%20in%20the%20Middle%20East/The_Moral_Culpabili.writeback